DAMAGED Eating: FATSO'S DINER!

I have been to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Twice. I have the t-shirt to prove it. And while,yes, their food is mighty tasty, mostly they are known for their ghetto-kitsch value. They are an industry of pop-culture, as well they should be. And, because of that, when you actually go to Roscoe's, you need to mentally prepare for a nice-sized chunk of disappointment on all levels: the extreme time of waiting for your food, the comically prohibitive pricing, the chintzy portions and, worst of all, no John Cusack and Tim Robbins making a music-video to fund their Swanky Modes reunion.

But get a shirt to let everyone know you went.

You won't find shirts at Fatso's Diner in Loveland. And I'm pretty sure it will never be name-checked by a rapper. But what you will get is the best diner food that this fatso has ever had. Corned beef hash, bacon-wrapped hot dogs, Rocky Mountain oysters...it's difficult to decide exactly what you want. Then you see “chicken and waffle” and your mind is clearly made up.

These chicken and waffles put Roscoe's to shame. A big ol' deep-fried chicken breast smothered in sausage gravy, that would be good enough. But then there's the lightly-dusted-with-powdered-sugar waffle, which is amazingly delicious and especially surprising considering I honestly don't even like waffles all that much. Too much of that Eggo crap growing up. Most people enjoy lacquering syrup on their waffles, but I didn't want that gravy to go to waste and the waffle acts as the perfect utensil to sop it up with. Add a side of thick steak fries and it's a meal that will stick with you until tomorrow. It'll stick with you for life.



The décor is an unironic faux-fifties thing and the clientele is mostly old dudes. I like that, I enjoy that. It's got an old-school vibe that hasn't been polluted yet—the hipsters don't know about it and haven't stumbled in a PBR-haze to “experience” and trivialize the place. You couldn't have a place like this in Fort Collins; in a day, you'd see a hundred Twitter update proclaiming either they were the “Mayor of Fatso's” or decrying that they were having heart-attacks just looking at the food.

When I return next time, however, I might have to forgo the chicken and waffles for something even more intriguing—as I was leaving, I noticed on the specials board that they are now offering a food challenge: eat 14 of their cheeseburger patties and an order of fries and get...well, I don't know what you get. But I know I want to do it. If their fried chicken is any indicator, then their burgers are probably just as, if not more so, phenomenal. Wish me luck.

Fatso's Diner is located at 1606 W. Eisenhower Blvd. in Loveland, Colorado.