Mi ćemo Staviti Boot u Vašem Magarca!: Meet my Croatian patriot-pal Marko, Part 1 -- A BOOT IN YOUR ASS Special Report!

As many readers of DAMAGED know, my photo-series “We'll Put a Boot in Your Ass”, which depicts, through found photos depict why America is the greatest country on the planet, has become one of the most popular features here. And from not just proud Americans!

A few months ago I introduced you to Marko, a blogger from Croatia whose blog Fulah Folder regularly re-posts pics from the series for his countrymen to see. As a token of appreciation, I sent him a BOOT IN YOUR ASS FREEDOM PACK – here's the original post.



A lot of DAMAGED readers have wanted to know if he ever got the prize pack and, well, just exactly who he is. So I emailed him a few questions about how awesome America is and he was nice enough to respond. Out of respect to our cultural differences, I have reprinted his answers word for word, with no editing. Here's part one of the interview...

In many American films, Croatia is portrayed as a desolate, war-torn wasteland where life is cheap. Is this how it really is?

Of course it is true that my very nice place my homeland is. we the croats are proud of us and our countrie. we're so proud that we dont have concrete land, our land is just large amount of hard proud. its so huge we could build caves in how hard our proud is. thats the reason why we call it Motherproud. and we live in tribal cave communions.

We the croats have great sea so there is plenty of water, wheres water theres ships wheres ships theres tourists with a lotof money. we sell water, sunrays and they pay. that girl from that porno movie one night in paris, most boring of all celebporn ever almost cum here. tara reid cums more than once. maverick from top gun was here. the guy from american beauty, the old dad guy who like that other young girl. yeah he was here. ... and yes... this guy... what was his name? standup illiterate comedian! uhmaerikaen, noookeelah ooouuaaeepounz? oh come on.... my brain hurts.... how could i forget his name.... Belush... Blush,,, BUSH! Yeah, the cowboy guy. yeah he was here, too. hell yea, what a character. Great standup routines. just great!

And yeah, we croats is inventors. good ones. if wee need something we invent it something! We wanted to float on the sky so we invented parachute. We wanted to write something down we invent modern pen! Everybody on the planet world knows how to kill people. But we the croats know how to look good and kill people. that's why our soldiers from history wore neck ties when they killed bad conquerors, if you gonna slash another one with your sword, I gotta show some respect' you know whaf I'm saaayin? thats why your manhattan stocking exchange soon to be gordon gekkos where them too. different times, different types of kill but hey, look good when you destroy! we invented a lot of other stuff too but it would take a lot of time to think of everything.

Life is very cheap for we the croats. YOu cant even sell your own life beacuse of how cheap life really is. As we the croats, and the rest of our planet world knowing – when history be portrayed in American filmovies they is so precise, factual and investigative there's nothing to be suspicious for - car kaboooms when hit by a bullet, aliens and advanced races in spaces talk american english, terrorist hijack and fly planes and demolish buildings, smoking is good for the women's rights and the agendas of gender, and so on. Of course we the croats won't mention farting in front of people is such a laugh and we are havin a laugh. Is you havin a laugh? The hole truth and no thing as is the truth!


Continued tomorrow...