DAMAGED Cooking: CHILI CON MUCHO CARNE!!!
I have "friends" that like to make chili. "That's cool", I say, eager to swap ideas with them about the cooking, etc. But, then, they drop the bomb: it's VEGETARIAN chili.
Really. Vegetarian chili. Must we, as a society, make everything that is good and holy LAME?
Look: chili is supposed to have meat in it. Lots of meat. If you call it chili and all it's got are some vegetables and beans--and you're a man--you might as well slap on some Birkenstocks, a hemp necklace and have fun at the Jack Johnson concert, because you are a damned hippie. You will not be saved in the Rapture.
But, in penance for my friends, I decided to make my first ever pot o' chili. The only vegetables? Garlic, onions, bell peppers, jalapenos and green chilies. Top that, honky. And, just rub chili powder in their eyes, I made it with FIVE POUNDS of ground beef. Do you know how much meat that is per square inch of chili? Well, I don't either, but you can bet it's a whole helluva lot.
Listen men: reclaim your testicles. Add five pounds of meat to not only your chilis, but your stews, casseroles and soups. Especially vegetable soup--that a-hole soup has had it coming for a while now!
Really. Vegetarian chili. Must we, as a society, make everything that is good and holy LAME?
Look: chili is supposed to have meat in it. Lots of meat. If you call it chili and all it's got are some vegetables and beans--and you're a man--you might as well slap on some Birkenstocks, a hemp necklace and have fun at the Jack Johnson concert, because you are a damned hippie. You will not be saved in the Rapture.
But, in penance for my friends, I decided to make my first ever pot o' chili. The only vegetables? Garlic, onions, bell peppers, jalapenos and green chilies. Top that, honky. And, just rub chili powder in their eyes, I made it with FIVE POUNDS of ground beef. Do you know how much meat that is per square inch of chili? Well, I don't either, but you can bet it's a whole helluva lot.
Listen men: reclaim your testicles. Add five pounds of meat to not only your chilis, but your stews, casseroles and soups. Especially vegetable soup--that a-hole soup has had it coming for a while now!
Labels: chilis, damaged cooking, hippies, meat meat meat, sticking it to those pushy vegetarians
posted by Louis Fowler at 1/06/2009 03:46:00 PM
1 Comments:
i made some chili just the other day, but i only used one pound of meat.
you know what delicious item 5 pounds of meat would make? a little dish i like to call "Carne Cajones."
think about it. mmmm.
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