Why no one invites Batman to their holiday parties...

I love Batman as a super-hero. He's stoic, intelligent and unwavering in his pursuit of justice for the downtrodden. But, seriously, would you want to invite him to your Christmas party? Seriously?

I can see why the Justice League "lost" his invitation.

At every party, there's always that one person that's got to be the downer, usually hiding out in the bathroom, crying and saying cryptic things like "They'd all be happy without me...". If it's a chick, usually she leaves the party crying about something her boyfriend did, like, look at another girl, and, if it's a depressive guy, he'll probably chug a carton of box wine and punch your landlord in the face. Just look what he does to poor Robin here, after a simple question...



And he's not even drunk. That's the way to ruin Christmas!

That's what Batman would be like at a party. That's why no one invites him. Everyone wants to have a good time, laugh and maybe do some karaoke. Some people want to hook up, some people want to pass out drunk on Barry Allen's toilet and some people want to sing "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" without having to get into an awkward discussion about Nietzsche's role in popular music.

No, Batman would just ruin everything. So don't feel bad for the Caped Crusader this holiday season--he's brought it upon himself. He's just trying to get attention and if you give in, he'll just keep doing it. Just let the Bat-bitch cry and wallow in his depression...maybe it'll be the kick in the ass he needs to get his shit together and quit being such an irritating sad sack.