The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 12.01.09

I like your style! - Shauna

Welcome back, Louis. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Today is Zeus' birthday. He's 3. What should I make him for dinner? - Melissa

"You haven't heard Miley Cyrus until you've heard Louis Fowler covering Miley Cyrus!" - Ken

Miley Cyrus-"Party in the USA"
Miley Cyrus and Louis-"Party in the USA"
Robert Preston-"Ya Got Trouble"
DJ Schmolli-"In-A-Gadda-Blue-Monday (Iron Butterfly vs. New Order)"
Giorgio Moroder-"Chase"
Freddy Mercury-"Love Kills"
Interview with Jackie and John of Strange and Deranged
Toby Keith with Willie Nelson-"Beer for My Horses"
Toby Keith-"Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue"
Toby Keith-"Have I Got a Present for You"
Lyle Lanley-"The Monorail Song"
Robert Preston-"Ya Got Trouble/Seventy-Six Trombones"
Chris LeDoux-"Tougher Than The Rest"
Brad Paisley with Keith Urban-"Start A Band"
Brooks and Dunn-"My Maria"
Red Sovine-"Teddy Bear"
Interview with Alexander Hamilton of Invisible Man Corporation
Beck-"Sexx Laws"
The Who-"Won't Get Fooled Again [Full Length Version]"

"I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama, Campaign Promise - October 27, 2007

Special thanks to Freddy and Amy from Night of the Living Podcast for the recording equipment, multiple bowls of chili and a place to lay my head while I was in Cincinnati.

If you missed today's episode and would like a free downloadable link emailed to you, email me at damagedhearing@gmail.com. Subscribe and never miss the show again!

The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 11.17.09

Don Johnson-"Heartbeat"
Wild Man Fischer-"The Taster"
Bad Manners-"Yakety Yak"
Jimmy Soul-"If You Wanna Be Happy"
Oingo Boingo-"Bachelor Party"
Clarence "Frogman" Henry-"Ain't Got No Home"
Sam Moore and Lou Reed-"Soul Man"
Elton John-"The Bitch is Back"
Tim Curry-"I Do the Rock"
The Osmonds-"Crazy Horses"
The Osmonds-"The Last Days"
The New Seekers-"Pinball Wizard/See Me Feel Me"
Elton John-"Pinball Wizard"
Ringo Starr-"Snookeroo"
France Gall-"Laisse Tomber Les Filles"
April March-"Chick Habit"
Billy Ocean-"When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going"
Starship-"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"
Casey and His Brother-"Right Way to Rock"
John Parr-"St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)"
John Parr-"St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) (Acoustic)"
Pop!-"Pop Goes My Heart"
John Waite-"Missing You"
Meat Loaf-"Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
Meat Loaf-"Rock'N'Roll Dreams Come Through"
Meat Loaf with Marion Raven-"It's All Coming Back to Me Now"

If you missed today's episode and would like a free downloadable link emailed to you, email me at damagedhearing@gmail.com. Subscribe and never miss the show again!

The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 11.10.09

Ugly Kid Joe-"Everything About You"
Green Jelly-"Three Little Pigs"
Lynyrd Skynyrd-"God & Guns"
Molly Hatchet-"Dead and Gone"
The Boxmasters-"That's Why Tammy Has My Car"
Johnny Paycheck-"Colorado Cool-Aid"
Glen Campbell and Michelle Shocked with the Texas Tornados-"Wichita Lineman"
Albert Hammond-"It Never Rains in Southern California"
Trent Summar and the New Row Mob-"It Never Rains in Southern California"
Ronnie Milsap-"Stranger in My House"
Dolly Parton-"Here You Come Again"
Burt Reynolds-"Let's Do Something Cheap and Superficial"
Jimmy Buffett-"Cuban Crime of Passion"
Jimmy Buffett-"It's Midnight and I'm Not Famous Yet"
Jimmy Buffett-"When the Wild Life Betrays Me"
Richard Harris-"MacArthur Park"
Donna Summer-"MacArthur Park"
Weird Al Yankovic-"Jurassic Park"
Amy Grant-"Good For Me"
Amy Grant-"Lucky One"
Amy Grant-"Takes A Little Time"
Richard Cheese-"Down With the Sickness"
Flight of the Conchords-"Ladies of the World"
Flight of the Conchords-"Carol Brown"
Annie-"All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons (from The Evil Dead: The Musical)"
Debbie-"Small Town Girl (from Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical)"
Taylor Swift-"You Belong With Me"

I got some badly written hate mail from a dude who works in a bike shop!

EMAIL #1

Oh Moy Gahd....

Those songs sucked soo Bad, it was like a tornado in my shop, blew all the sand right off the floor. It sucked soo bad the paint is coming off the floor chasing after the sand flying out of here on this mighty wind....! ;->

OK, here are some suggestions for you, Perhaps a little Dio, off the holy diver LP, Or some Elf from before the Sabbath days. For crying out load, play some B side twisted sister or White snake if you need comedy relief...

I cranked my radio up till the knob came off, somewhere around 12, now I have to listen to this crap full time in our Electric bike shop, cause the Boss is too cheap to get another radio in here. Come on, How about the Wizzard from Ozzy, or perhaps the trooper!....You do know who played the Trooper don't you?...

If you ever play that dam little piggy crap again, your fired, and you will get a ticket...

EMAIL #2

Ok, Ok I get it now. You are just trying to kill us. Your goal: Kill all people listening to this station by damaging their ear hole.

DAMAGED Cooking: The Tip O' the Iceberg!!!

I have been trying to eat more salads lately. And it's not that I hate salads, quite the contrary: I love a good salad. The problem is that often they are relegated to the realm of a side or starter instead of a whole meal. And, often times, I'm craving one as a whole meal.



It was this need that I came up with the Tip O' the Iceberg, inspired by a salad that I once had at a roadside diner in West Texas. I think it was called a "Wedge", and, true to it's name, it was just a wedge of iceberg lettuce with some dressing on it. Nothing else. I like the concept, but the execution needed some work.

On a bed of mixed greens (iceberg, romaine, spinach, etc.), I placed the aforementioned wedge, so, there you go, more healthiness. You're welcome, Doctor. Wanting to add some flavor, I sprinkled some 2% mozzarella, pepper, some cut-up hard-boiled eggs and two/three halved-pieces of oven-baked turkey bacon. Top with a generous helping of fat-free blue cheese dressing and you're good to go. It's a filling dinner. And, best of all, it's extremely satisfying, which, in these times of strife and upheaval, is the best you can ask for in a quick meal.

The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 11.03.09

Hoogie and I talk about how much we wish the riotous family comedy DR. DOLITTLE was based on true events. Andy B. stops by for the last few minutes to agree and I try to make a joke about Polish Low-Riders. There's got to be one!

Roxette-"Joyride"
Prince-"Cream"
Prince-"The Most Beautiful Girl in the World"
Prince-"Race"
Tone-Loc-"Wild Thing"
Tone-Loc-"Fatal Attraction"
Vanilla Ice-"Stop That Train"
Sir Mix-A-Lot-"Beepers"
Digital Underground-"Doowutchyalike"
Mighty Casey-"White Girls"
DJ Kool, Doug E. Fresh and Biz Markie-"Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Remix '96)"
Happy Mondays-"24 Hour Party People"
Erasure-"A Little Respect"
Erasure-"Lay All Your Love On Me"
Information Society-"Lay All Your Love On Me"
Abba-"Lay All Your Love On Me"
Village People-"Go West (12" Version)"
Pet Shop Boys-"Go West"
RuPaul with Fred Schneider-"Stinky Dinky"
Roxette-"Fading Like A Flower (Every Time You Leave)"

DAMAGED Lists: Top Ten Things Women Have Said to Me When I Admitted That I Had Feelings For Them.

1. “No. Stop. This is inappropriate and I reject these advances.”

2. “I can't think of you like that...you're like a sister to me.”

3. “Shhh...go stand over there. That guy I was telling you about is walking towards me...”

4. “I'm sorry, but I don't date fat people.”

5. “You're funny and all, but I'm kinda into black guys.”

6. “C'mon, quit joking....oh, you're not joking...”

7. “It would never work because I don't like you.”

8. “Um...if I say no, are you still paying for dinner?”

9. “Can we be secret boyfriend/girlfriend?”

10. “Quit being such a fag.”

The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 10.27.09

Lyle Allen stops by for some breastfeeding fun! We call up and harass various radio personalities, wish people happy birthday and kick the soccer ball around! FUN.

Billy Ocean-"License To Chill"
Don Henley-"Boys of Summer"
Philip Bailey and Phil Collins-"Easy Lover"
Nu Shooz-"I Can't Wait"
Irene Cara-"Fame"
Buckner & Garcia-"Hyperspace"
Buckner & Garcia-"Defender"
Quiet Riot-"Main Attraction"
Pat Benatar-"Invincible"
Damn Yankees-"High Enough"
Los Golfos-"Qué Pasa Contigo, Tío"
Los Golfos-"Qué Pasa Contigo, Tío"
Menudo-"Like A Cannonball"
Gerardo-"Rico Suave"
"Weird Al" Yankovic-"Taco Grande"
New Kids on the Block-"Funky Funky Xmas"

Also, DAMAGED Hearing superfan Nathan sends in this email:

Dear Louis, I really wanted to send you this picture...I have no idea why. Did you have another life as a English Pop Superstar?

Look out, white bitches! BLACK DEVIL DOLL is here!

After what seemed like an eternity, BLACK DEVIL DOLL has finally hit the shelves. As many followers of this blog may remember, I gave it a glowing review, going as far as to say that you need “see BLACK DEVIL DOLL by any means necessary.” I'm pretty sure I threw in an anti-white racial epithet for shock somewhere in there. Either way, you can read the whole review here.

I know that some of you thought that I was too enthusiastic, too loudly supportive of BDD. There's no way I could have said that BDD was “going to be my favorite film of the year”, right? First of all, you haven't seen the movie, I have, so you don't know what you're talking about. Secondly, you obviously don't know me. I am so BORED with horror right now. The movies that I really want to see, like, say, Lars Von Trier's ANTICHRIST, I don't know if they'll ever come here. I am told by my contemporaries that nonsense like ZOMBIELAND or PARANORMAL ACTIVITY or TRICK R TREAT are the Second Coming, but when I watch them, I am just BORED out of my little afro'ed-skull. I NEED something different. I NEED something harder. I feel like a guy who knows that weed just doesn't do it anymore so he tries smack. And I LOVE smack.

BLACK DEVIL DOLL is the best smack money can buy and I needs my medicine. *Grabs rubber tubing.*

Now that original review was based on a screener the producers sent me, burned onto a disc with the letters “BDD” scrawled on it in black Sharpie. All it had on it was the movie and my solemn vow not to copy it, show it or even let my friends know that I had it in my possession. Why? Because I know how most of you are and, sorry, but this time that consumer laziness just isn't going to work. It is your absolute DUTY as genre fans to purchase BLACK DEVIL DOLL. Do something for someone else for once in your selfish, miserable lives!

So, when you get BDD on DVD, not only do you get the movie, which is seriously enough, but the gang at Lowest Common Denominator have packed the DVD with so much special features...it's packed tighter than Heather Murphy's bra. If I can stop jerking off to the car wash sequence, maybe I'll actually make it to them someday!

Just kidding. Kind of.

Here's what you get: tons of behind the scenes material, animated promos, footage shot at the world premiere, still galleries, exclusive festival intros...you get the idea. The real selling point though are the commentaries, specifically the filmmakers and the Black Devil Doll ones. In the filmmakers' commentary, within the first five minutes we get a wonderfully self-congratulatory “What an abundance of delicious asses!”. You won't hear Spielberg say that. (Maybe that's why I am not a big Spielberg fan?)

On the other (puppet) hand, the Black Devil Doll commentary is almost as good as the actual movie. When I lived in Oklahoma City, some afternoons I would go to a corner dive bar in the badder part of town to get a single, one dollar drink and depress over the romantic issues of the day. Usually there would always be a 70-year-old drunk black dude who would interrupt his angry, loud diatribes against the Bush Administration with a sudden “Ooooh, look at dat pussy go by!” whenever a comely female would walk by the window. Now imagine that guy doing an audio commentary for 72 minutes. I don't know about you, but it made me wistful. I teared up a little.

I can't recommend BLACK DEVIL DOLL enough. Buy the DVD ASAP, right here. It's only $18.95 post-paid and every dollar goes to supporting and funding more subversive, race-baiting, misogynistic puppet-pud pulling escapades. In other words: if you don't buy this, you hate black people. (That's how you get people to do what you want in America now, right? Accuse them of being racist?)

But wait! There's more!

When I wrote that review of BDD, I didn't realize just how far down I would get sucked into the dark underworld of the Black Devil Doll. The producers liked my review, so much so that they hired me to write the introduction to the novelization of the movie. Yes, THE NOVELIZATION, much like those middle school Scholastic paperbacks you bought at the Book Fair. Written by acclaimed genre artist Stephen Romano, the book delves deeper into the characters and motivations with a subtle, Al Goldstein-like pornographic attention to detail. I mean that as a compliment. Ferociously funny...here, I'll turn to a random page and type the first sentence I see:

“Man, that's some powerful-ass DOOKIE!”

See, there you go. Don't you need a book like that on your shelf? Don't you want to place it among your dusty, leather-bound tomes? Just imagine: you're having a dinner party, all of your uppity white friends enjoying the wine and Brie, only to drop their monocle and caterwaul “Well, I never!” as they flip the book open to the sentence “...you can't live without this chocolate dick!”

Have I sold it? If so, order it here for $14.95, post-paid. Order now and, if you're going to Horrorhound Weekend in Cincinnati in November, I'll even sign it for you. Even if you're a white woman.

OK. So you're getting the book, but what are you going to listen to while you read? NPR? No. No you are not. How about picking up the soundtrack by Giallos Flame? Well, how about it?

It literally just appeared in my mailbox today and straight into my CD player, and, next Tuesday, into heavy rotation on DAMAGED Hearing. It's a great mixture of deep-bassed 70s funk and dark synth-drenched Goblin-esque tunes, as well as Charles David Moss's slow-jam “Waitin'” and the best booty-jam Luke never wrote, “Wet Pussy (The Car Wash)”, which, with lyrics like “Excuse me, bitch, won't you give me a chance/So much ass, like two hams in your pants!”, that, sadly, exclude it from radio airplay. Maybe I can make my own radio-friendly edit...

Like everything else, you can buy it here, at the low price of $12.95, shipping included. That's cheaper than the latest lo-fi whiny indie BS from Iron and Wine or Bright Eyes! Grow a pair!

Here we are, at the end of the road. BLACK DEVIL DOLL is here. Nothing to wait for anymore, no more anticipation. You'll watch the movie, your load will be shot. Depression will set in. The sun will set, night will last for what will seem like an eternity. You will have nothing to look forward to...until you start seeing the posters for BLACK DEVIL DOLL IN SPACE. Yes, IN SPACE.

But, until then, keep it BLACK, baby.

The DAMAGED Hearing Playlist for 10.20.09

Desperate for attention, I claim to be in a runaway balloon, only for it to be revealed as a hoax. Also desperate for attention, Magic Cyclops claims to be in a runaway balloon, only for it to be revealed as a hoax. There is also talk of egg salad sandwiches, warm gallons of chocolate milk and the '87 Denver Broncos. Oh yeah: I also give away some tickets to see Roger Daltrey without the Who! Should be awesome...
"About to see Roger Daltrey! Thanks to Louis Fowler and KRFC for the tix! Hooray for DAMAGED Hearing!!!" -Darren Radach

The 5th Dimension-"Up, Up and Away"
The George Garabedian Players and the Awful Trumpet of Harry Arms-"Up, Up and Away"
Juice People Unlimited-"Disco Godfather"
Ron Wright-"Van Nuys Blvd."
Jigsaw-"Sky High"
Rita Coolidge-"All Time High"
Billy Joel-"Allentown"
Steely Dan-"Barrytown"
Pseudo Echo-"Funky Town"
Steely Dan-"Deacon Blues"
Klenginem-"SuvwI'pu' qan tu'lu'be'"
Sir Mix-A-Lot-"My Hooptie"
The Scorpions-"No One Like You"
Nena-"99 Luftballons"
Nena-"99 Red Balloons"
Steely Dan-"Reelin' in the Years"

Have you picked up your copy of THE HUNGOVER GOURMET #11 yet???

Well...have you?

The long-awaited and, sadly, last issue, of the seminal journal of "food, drink, travel and fun" has finally hit the newsstands! Dan Taylor's THE HUNGOVER GOURMET, one of the few zines left standing after the great Indie Publishing Bust of the Early Aughts, is going out with a bang, featuring not only multiple essays about America's love affair with coffee, but there's also beer, Clamato, enemas, White Castle and, best of all, "Stupid Size Me!", the book-length epic wherein I take the "Big Lots Challenge" and find out if one man really can survive on nothing but Rap Snacks, Guava Nectar and Toddler Cuisine!

So what are the "critics" saying about THG #11, more specifically, ME?

"The longest article in the issue has nothing to do with coffee, and it's also the best. This may sound biased, but it's BOOKGASM contributor Louis Fowler's "Stupid Size Me," an eight-page journal of his experiment to eat on only $20 a week, exclusively consuming edibles and beverages purchased from his local Big Lots. Considering that Armour Honey Mustard Flavor Vienna Sausage and Del Monte Toddler Cuisine Animal Pasta are on the menu, you know it's not going to be pretty. In fact, it’s nauseating, which makes it laugh-out-loud funny." -Bookgasm

"...Louis Fowler's descent into money-saving madness. He eats nothing but food from Big Lots on a budget of $20 per week and keeps a diary about it as he goes. It is both horrifying and engrossing." -Microcosm Publishing

"For added variety the issue ends with Louis Fowler's alternately hilarious and horrifying piece "Stupid Size Me," in which he spends a week on a $20.00 budget eating nothing but food scavenged from Big Lots. With detailed descriptions of some of the taste sensations found, many of the combinations he forced himself to sit through just do not sound good: "Day One: Lunch: Jumex Strawberry Banana Nectar ($0.25); Armour Honey Mustard Flavor Vienna Sausage ($0.50)." I think I can actually taste that..." -Paniscus Revue

"But my favorite piece in the issue was Louis Fowler's article "Stupid Size Me" in which he attempts to make it through a whole week on only $20 worth of groceries because apparently some politician said people wouldn't need welfare if they only spent $20 a week on groceries. There's no attribution to this quote so to be honest I have no idea if any politician said anything of the sort. It sure sounds too stupid to be true, but politicians being what they are I wouldn't put it past them. And the article is entertaining enough that it doesn't matter. Not only is it funny, it also makes a serious point about why so many poor people are so obese." -Xerography Debt

Celebrate the last issue of THE HUNGOVER GOURMET and, let's be honest, me, by purchasing this legendary title for the low, low price of $3, post-paid here. Do it now and tell 'em Louis sent you!